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Um, I guess I should warn you that there's an adult theme in here.

....

"Cam, if you don't want to talk, its okay. Nothing I can say has anything to do with you and Madonna."

"No. No, we really need to talk. It's just that I'm a little uncomfortable with you in here." Why on earth he'd brought her into his bedroom, he didn't know.

Tori looked down and stepped farther away. "You know Dustin didn't mean anything." Her jaw-length hair still hung in her face.

Cam snorted. "Do you really believe that? Dustin's not stupid enough not to know what he was doing. He completely humiliated Madonna. She doesn't need that. Just because Dustin wants us together doesn't give him the right to do that to Madonna."

"Cam, I really don't think he meant to hurt her feelings."

"That's fine. It's just another indication that I can't expect you guys to get along with Madonna. It's not fair the way everybody treats her like an outsider. It makes her paranoid. It makes her think I can't love her because she's not a Power Ranger. As if she's not a match for me because she couldn't challenge me in a fight."

Tori felt suddenly nauseated. That's not what he means, she told herself.

"I need to satisfy myself that she's wrong."

"She is wrong, Cam. Don't listen to her."

"Easy to say. I need to know there's nothing left between us."

"I can tell you that, then."

Cam paused. "And that means?"

"I dont want to lie to you, but I can tell you what you need to hear."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm not going to tell you anything you'll regret hearing, Cam."

"Tori, I can make my own decisions. Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

"Cam, wouldn't you rather not know?"

"I've lost my chance of ignorant bliss. Tell me, Tori. I dont want to play games."

Tori looked Cam in the eyes. She concentrated on breathing for a few seconds. "So I still have feelings for you. I'm still in love with you."

Cam shut his eyes for a moment. "So you were going to keep this from me?"

"Cam, it doesn't matter."

"I--What am I supposed to think?"

"I don't want to influence your actions."

"I can make my own decisions."

"I'm sorry."

Cam sat down on his bed. He sat his glasses on his nightstand. He bit his lip. What am I supposed to do now? He felt the tears building up, but he couldnt stop them, so he turned away. Subtle, Cam. Real subtle.

Tori was uncomfortable just standing there watching Cam cry. He didn't show signs of stopping. Maybe she should leave. "Cam?" she asked. "Do you want me to leave? Or stay?"

Cam tried to pull himself together. He didn't need her here. He didn't need her to see him like this. He didn't want to be alone. "Stay," he said. He thought he could keep himself together. But then he thought of Madonna. He couldn't imagine how his life had turned out this way. It wasn't supposed to be like this. He started to cry again, then he started coughing.

Tori pulled a handkerchief out of Cam's dresser and set it down beside him. She sat down on the edge of his bed. "Hank hit me."

Cam jerked around and stopped crying immediately. "What?"

"Back when Hank and I were datingHe wasphysically aggressive. The first time, he just grabbed my arm. And I froze. I didn't react at all. You'd--you'd think I'd've--I'd've--"

"Knocked the wind out of him without a second thought."

"But I didn't. And I didn't know why I just let him. Every time he did that, he took away another piece of me. I hated myself." Her speech was quiet and almost casual.

"It's not your fault."

"I could've stopped it."

"Why didn't you tell someone, Tori?"

"Tell them that Tori Hanson was getting pushed around by a grocery checker? I was a ninja. I couldn't let you guys know--I--I stopped hanging out with the guys. Someone--No one--Why didn't anybody know?" Tori started to cry, and Cam put his arm around her.

"It's all right."

"It's not all right. This was the guy I threw us away for, and he was a total jerk. But he only hit me once. You can overlook arm grabbing. But there's no overlooking being hit. That was it. He hit me once and it was all over."

"Did you hurt him?"

"I didn't touch him. I walked out."

It was hard to believe that from a girl that had given him his fair share of bruises. But he knew she wasn't lying.

"I'm sorry, Cam. Maybe I shouldn't have told you that." She got up. "I don't know why I did. I guess I just wanted you to stop--"

"Feeling sorry for myself?"

"Crying. But maybe that too."

Cam told himself he wouldn't go see Tori. But it was Sunday, and his day was so empty. He was tempted to do some work, or at the least play some video games. But he was afraid to run from his personal problems. Afraid of what that could turn him into. Still, he was almost scared to be left to his thoughts. He started to wonder what had gone wrong in his and Tori's relationship. How it was so hard to give up what had gone so totally wrong.

He decided not to call first. He didn't want to talk on the phone, he didn't want to talk to Tori's parents, and if she wasn't there, she wasn't there.

"Hey," he said when Tori opened the door.

"Is something the matter, Cam?"

"Can we take a walk?" Cam asked, hoping for a private conversation.

"Sure."

It was hot out, but bearable. "I hate to do this," Cam blurted out. "I hate to spend days trying to talk something out. But I want to get everything cleared. I can't stop thinking."

"What do you need?"

Cam walked silently for a while before he worked up the courage to ask. "Why Hank? Or maybe, just why?"

Tori stopped walking and met Cam's eyes. It had been two and a half years, and this was the first time he'd asked why she'd cheated on him. "You want to know?"

"I guess we'll find out. I've recently concluded that ignorance does not lead to bliss. And I want to understand what happened to us." Cam got a sick feeling in his stomach and hoped he could handle what Tori told him.

"Do you remember what it was like at the end?" Tori asked.

"Honestly? I try not to think about it."

"Hank was nice to me. And I felt like you always had something else to do. I felt like he went out of his way for me. And I felt like I never saw you. And everywhere I went in town, people would say, 'How's Cam?' And I used to like that, like we were a unit, inseparable, and it was just wrong to see one of us without the other. But I started to hate it. Like, who am I? I'm more than Cam's other half."

Cam didn't know what to say.

"I know I've said it before, Cam, but I'm sorry. I told myself half a dozen times I'd talk to you. But I never liked the time. 'Not on a date.' 'Don't call him just for that.' Then there was the day when finally all I could do was tell you it was too late."

It was that simple, Cam realized. He'd been a workaholic. He hadn't made time for his girlfriend. If only she'd told him how she felt... No, things might've turned out differently, but it wouldn't have changed everything. Back then he would have tried to explain how such-and-such had to be done by a certain time, but he'd get to her later. What did that mean? That it could never have worked out with Tori? That he was better off with Madonna? That he was hanging on to memories of Tori because she was a Power Ranger? Or did it mean that it couldn't have worked out then, but today it could?

"It's like--my whole life since then--I started avoiding you--you and the guys. I haven't felt good about myself in years. And I don't know what to do anymore. I guess I need to talk to your dad."

Cam exhaled. "So do I."

Tori wasn't quite sure where he was going with that, and she gave him a questioning look.

"I haven't really told him about me and Madonna being up in the air."

"Cam," Tori scolded.

"I know. It's not as if he wasn't there."

"Well, at least I get to make you go first."

"What?"

"I don't have to talk to your dad till you do."

"That doesn't sound right."

"My story kind of makes more sense in light of yours, Cam."

Cam knew she'd won. He looked at the clock trying to decide whether he should wait until the next day. No. Tomorrow was just an excuse.